


Ride Home

by uhhdella



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Auntie Em - Freeform, Cars, Divorced JJ, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Emily Prentiss, Platonic Cuddling, but will it stay platonic?, it’s not platonic anymore, it’s so sweet my teeth hurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29025498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uhhdella/pseuds/uhhdella
Summary: Starting at the end of 11x19, when Emily finally tells JJ about that Scotland Yard agent that she definitely dated, all the way through to... when I decide I’ve written enough to give them a happy ending.*Originally posted as a oneshot, now ~multi-chapter~ (and also maybe kinda series re-write-esque.)
Relationships: Emily Prentiss/Scotland Yard, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 18
Kudos: 80





	1. Tribute

**Author's Note:**

> Whatever’s not cannon-compliant is explained in here I think.
> 
> Except Emily’s dumb boyfriend Mark never existed because he’s dumb.
> 
> Ok. Enjoy!

The table had been littered with empty food platters and margarita glasses for quite some time before Emily finally let out the sigh that would signal the end of the evening. Their server had been dropping hints that she wanted them to leave for at least 20 minutes, and there weren’t any other diners left in the restaurant. Still, it was hard to draw the evening to a close. She had missed this, missed her family. They were so good, so caring, so understanding. They made her feel needed. Wanted. Loved. Rossi caught her eye and winked. “Alright, alright,” he said, as the laughter from a joke Spencer had just told winded down. “Let’s let the fine staff of this establishment get on with their evening.” Everyone nodded in agreement, though they still seemed reluctant to let the evening end. Finally, standing on the sidewalk outside, the team said their goodbyes to Emily. The moment was filled with warm hugs, last jokes, and promises to visit each other soon.

JJ approached her last. “Need a ride back to your hotel?” The blonde asked.

“I uh,” Emily blushed. “I forgot to book one.”

“Then I guess you’re coming home with me,” JJ looped her arm through Emily’s and steered the agent toward her car. Emily tried to object, eyes swinging around wildly, but the rest of the team had already made their exit and were now just retreating figures in the distance. This was so not a good idea. She had way too much tequila in her system for this to go well. But JJ’s arm in her’s, the light brushes off their hips as they walked, the warmth radiating off her… She couldn’t say no.

“You really don’t have to do this you know,” Emily said as she buckled herself into the passenger’s seat.

“Em, where were you planning to sleep if you didn’t book a hotel?” JJ replied, carefully pulling the car out of its spot and starting the drive home.

“I don’t know, I would have figured it out. I didn’t really have time to think about it, with the case, and…” Emily was quiet for a while. “I probably did it subconsciously. Avoided figuring out a place to stay because sleep has… not been easy for me recently.” The last part came out as almost a whisper.

“The nightmare on the plane,” JJ prompted.

“Was not the first. Probably won’t be the last. I know the case is done, I know we got him, but…” she trailed off. The rest of the ride to JJ’s house was silent, and Emily let it make her feel safe for the first time in months. The quiet rocking of the car pulled her into an almost sleep, though the streetlights and knowledge of the conversation that was sure to come kept her from drifting off completely. JJ let it rest for now, but Emily wasn’t getting on a plane back to London before they talked. Before they _really_ talked.

“Wine?” JJ asked as she unlocked her front door.

“No, but could I have a glass of water?” Emily said, following the blonde inside. JJ nodded and pointed to the couch in the living room. Emily did as she was told, almost tip-toeing through the quiet house.

“Here you go,” JJ said as she came back and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, two glasses of water in hand. “You ready to talk about it?”

“Won’t we wake your boys?” she asked, taking the offered glass.

JJ shook her head. “The boys are with Will in New Orleans this weekend,” Emily cocked an interested eyebrow and JJ decided it was probably better to just get it over with. “Will and I split up a few months ago. He went back home and the boys fly down there every few weeks to visit.”

“Jayje, I’m so sorry, I had no idea,” a feeling of guilt washed over Emily. JJ didn't need to hear her problems, serious as they may be.

“It’s alright,” JJ shrugged. “We haven’t really told people. At first it was just going to be for a few weeks while we worked through things but last week we actually called it quits. Turns out what we had wasn’t worth saving.” She kind of smiled as she took a drink of water, but all that faded when she cleared her throat after. “We’re here to talk about you, though.”

“Are we?” Maybe Emily could still get out of this.

“We are. I let you off the hook on the plane because our profile finally fell into place but you clearly need to talk about her,” JJ was quiet for a minute, waiting for Emily to say something. “The Scotland Yard detective…”

“Louise,” Emily supplied.

“Louise,” JJ said back. “The way you talked about her, Em… You were close. You’re grieving.”

“We worked together, and like I said, it’s my fault she’s dead,” Emily looked at the ceiling in a futile attempt to stop herself from crying.

“It was more than that, though,” this whole conversation had JJ feeling like she was pulling teeth, trying to get Emily to open up.

She must have finally said the right thing though because the older agent took a deep breath, a sip of water, and another deep breath before finally admitting, “She was my girlfriend.” With that, all the tears Emily had been holding back began to fall. She didn’t even realize quite how hard she was crying until JJ was gathering her in her arms, rocking back and forth gently. They stayed like that for a long time, Emily crying, JJ soothing, until Emily felt herself begin to calm down enough to say more. “We were planning a trip to DC. We were gonna come right after the case, so that she could meet all of you. I, I wanted her to meet my family before I,” here she took a shaky, steadying breath. “I was going to propose.” And then she cried some more. She cried for the life that could have been, cried because of her own guilt, and cried because it felt so good to finally tell someone. To no longer carry the weight of all of it alone. Finally, the pair broke apart, JJ leaning over to the coffee table for the box of tissues that rested there. Emily took one, smiling at JJ in silent thanks, and realized that the blonde’s face was wet as well. Of course JJ had been crying with her. “Sorry,” Emily whispered, though what she was apologizing for she didn’t quite know.

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” JJ said, hugging the brunette again. “You’ve been going through this by yourself.”

“I didn’t tell you,” Emily said into JJ’s shoulder. “She was such a good person. The best. You would have loved her but you never got the chance to even know about her because I made some stupid rule that I wanted to introduce you in person.”

“You’ll just have to tell me about her now,” JJ gave her a tight squeeze before pulling back, ready to listen. It was as if a dam had broken and Emily found herself telling JJ all the things she had been longing to for months. She told the story of how she first met Louise, working with the detective’s Scotland Yard department to catch a serial killer in London. The months of casual date nights that followed before Emily finally got over her fear of commitment and asked to make the whole arrangement official. It wasn’t long after that Louise’s lease had been up, and it just made more sense for her to move in. Emily’s apartment was much too big for one person anyway. They had been together for just over two years, and Emily told JJ about almost every minute of it. How Louise made her laugh, the way she would make a point of being home to welcome Emily back from the particularly challenging cases, what it had been like to meet her very English family. They talked about the hard stuff, too. Emily’s unresolved and probably permanent guilt for her hand in Louise’s death. If the undercover operation succeeded, she would have been able to join Emily at Interpol. There were so many ifs surrounding the situation. If Emily hadn’t suggested that maybe Louise be the one to go undercover. If Louise hadn’t pushed Emily so hard to make it happen. If Emily hadn’t been so absolutely sure that everything would go according to plan. If… Maybe Louise would still be alive. Maybe Emily would be happy. Maybe.

It was just past three a.m. when Emily finally finished. “God, Jayje, I’m so sorry, you probably have to be back in the office in a few hours,” she stood up and stretched deeply before offering a hand to the younger agent.

“Eh, it’s alright,” JJ said, allowing herself to be pulled up and joining Emily in the stretch. “I’ll go make up the guest bed.”

“Oh don’t bother with that,” Emily said. “I can just hang out here on the couch. I probably won’t get much sleep anyway.” JJ looked at her with concern, and despite all that they had just shared, Emily found herself unable to meet her gaze.

“Would it be better if you slept with me?” JJ blurted out.

“What?” It came out barely a whisper.

“I just…” Whatever confidence had prompted JJ to ask such a question was fading fast. “I’ve had nightmares, too. It helped to have someone else sleeping next to me. Probably why I stayed with Will so long,” she added dryly.

“Jay,” Emily finally met JJ’s eyes. Some part of her heart was soaring at the offer. The part of her heart that had always belonged to JJ. God, how many years had she been waiting for an opportunity like this? But now, in the wake of all her grief, it wasn’t right. It didn’t _feel_ right. The feeling of guilt that had been Emily’s constant companion these past months doubled in that moment. _‘I’m supposed to be mourning the love of my life, not getting butterflies like a teenager at the prospect of sleeping next to…’_ Emily stopped herself before her brain could complete that sentence, but the truth still hit her. It was JJ. It always had been. _‘The love of my life.’_ Emily finished silently.

“Em,” JJ said, grabbing her hand. “Let me take care of you.”

Emily was crying again. She was exhausted, and she knew that if she pushed aside the guilt for one night, let herself be held for _one night,_ she might finally get some rest. So she nodded, and let JJ lead her upstairs. Emily had a bag of clothes sitting right by JJ’s front door, but they both seemed to forget it, and Emily sat quietly at the foot of JJ’s bed while the blonde rooted through her closet for something Emily could borrow. The weariness she had been holding off for months finally set in, and Emily barely even noticed when JJ came back out and slowly began helping her change. Some corner of her brain wondered if she should get excited that _Jennifer Jareau_ was undressing her, but no. This wasn’t that. This was Emily broken, bruised, and tired, and this was JJ picking up the pieces.

•—•• ——— •••— •

For the first time in what felt like forever, Emily Prentiss slept through the night. And in the morning, when the sun filled the room and the smell of coffee wafted in, Emily Prentiss found herself waking up _rested._ There was a moment, a small moment, where Emily thought she was back in her bed in London. That the comforting weight and heat pressed against her back and wound around her waist was Louise and she was waking up from a very long and very terrible nightmare. The weight shifted and Emily caught a whiff of a high and light shampoo that smelled like JJ, and that couldn’t be right because JJ was in DC at the BAU and Emily was in London at Interpol. But the weight shifted again and Emily opened one eye and realized that she smelled JJ because it was JJ, not Louise, behind her. The moment was over, and Emily prepared herself to feel her guilt come crashing back down but for whatever reason it didn’t. She found herself hard pressed to feel bad about getting her first good night’s sleep in a long time. It would come back eventually, she was sure, but Emily wasn’t going to ruin this moment by worrying about it now. Instead she rolled over to face her still sleeping companion.

JJ’s hair was wild and obscuring most of her face and Emily couldn’t help herself from reaching out a hand and pushing it gently back. The movement must have been enough to disturb JJ, because her relaxed face suddenly scrunched up and she groaned, “not yet.”

“Jay,” Emily said, refusing to withdraw her hand. “If you’re not awake yet then how am I smelling coffee?”

“Timer,” JJ grumbled, swatting away Emily’s hand. “Starts twenty minutes after my alarm so it’s ready when, shit!” JJ sat up, suddenly wide awake. “I’m going to be late for work!” The abrupt change from almost completely asleep to wide awake panic made Emily burst into a fit of giggles, which earned her a pillow to the face as JJ jumped out of bed and began racing through her morning routine.

“Relax, Jayje, I’m sure no one is going to be on time after the late night we all had,” Emily finally said, catching the now fully dressed blonde’s arm as she passed by the bed.

“There’s an interdepartmental meeting that Hotch wants me at. Otherwise, believe me, I would not be leaving any time soon,” JJ winked. “What time is your jet leaving? I can probably come back to drive you to the airport.”

“It went back to London without me when we flew to Chicago. And…” Emily raised an eyebrow, “I haven’t booked a flight back. I could stay a few days.”

“Really?” JJ smiled.

“Only if that’s okay with you,” Emily said, suddenly unsure of herself.

“That’s more than okay with me,” JJ said, starting to head to the door. “There’s coffee in the pot and eggs and stuff in the fridge. Help yourself to whatever. I’ll leave a spare key on the counter if you wanna go out or anything.”

“Eh, I’ll probably just catch up on all the classic American daytime TV I don’t get in London,” Emily said, laying back against the pillows, clearly not intending to get up for a while longer. JJ nodded and turned to go before Emily spoke up again to stop her. “Jayje? Could you… not tell the team I’m staying? I love them but… I really need to just sleep.”

“You got it,” JJ said with a final smile, definitely late for work now. Emily smiled back and pulled the duvet up around her, finding sleep again easily.

Hours later, a groggy, but well rested and nightmare-free Emily stumbled into JJ’s kitchen. The coffee in the pot had long gone cold, so she started a new one before turning to the fridge. She could scramble eggs without burning the house down. Probably. It wasn’t until she caught her reflection in the microwave on JJ’s counter that Emily saw what she was dressed in. She had been so tired that she thought the t-shirt was just that, a t-shirt. But looking down now, Emily realized it was _her_ t-shirt. Or had been, once upon a time. It had a faded Yale logo across the chest and had spent years in Emily’s closet before JJ stole it at a particularly raucous Girls’ Night. Emily smiled to herself, thinking about JJ keeping it all this time. She didn’t know when she would return to London or her life, or when her grief and guilt would consume her again, or even what tomorrow would bring, but for now, she was content to stand in Jennifer Jareau’s kitchen, scrambling eggs.


	2. Sick Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set (technically) during 12x2 “Sick Day”, except JJ goes home and tells Emily about the case instead of Will.

JJ sat alone at the back of the jet, lost in thought. Scenes from the case kept flashing through her brain and it felt like the only thing keeping her grounded to reality was the dull ache in her hand under the bandage. She almost didn’t notice when Luke came back to check on her. The way he looked at her was so understanding, so _kind,_ that JJ wanted to punch him. This was all her fault. The team should be furious with her, and maybe they were. Most of them had tiptoed around her as they wrapped up with the locals and loaded onto the jet. They didn’t seem angry, though, and Luke standing in front of her now was only confirmation of that. She didn’t punch him, just brushed him off. “I just need my own bed,” JJ heard herself say, barely stopping herself from adding _‘and Emily.’_

Emily had flown in to DC a few days ago to visit, apparently on some mandatory leave from Interpol. Something had shifted in the pair’s relationship recently, and though she couldn’t put her finger on exactly why, JJ was aching to get home and see her. Like it had been a few months ago, Emily’s presence in DC was a secret to the rest of the team, and JJ didn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt for not telling them. She liked having Emily all to herself. She would have liked to spend the last few days hanging out with Emily, as had been the plan, but instead the jet hadn’t even made it home from Seattle before they ended up on this case. And of course, the boys’ nanny had some family emergency come up, so instead of getting to spend her leave relaxing stateside, Emily had taken up the mantle of babysitter. JJ had called home the second they landed in Los Angeles, and Henry had been excited to spend time with ‘Auntie Em,’ but that was the last time she had talked to any of them.

Arriving home now, JJ wondered if she had made a mistake. The house was quiet, but she could hear a shower running. JJ tried to tell herself that maybe Emily just liked to shower at odd hours, but the guest room was on the first floor and the noise was definitely coming from upstairs. Coming from the Jack-and-Jill bathroom connecting the boys’ rooms, she would soon discover. Emily stood in the middle of the steam-filled room, rocking a sleeping Michael in her arms. She turned around at the sound of JJ opening the door, and gave the blonde a look to stop her from talking. Carefully, Emily carried Michael to his crib while JJ turned off the shower. When the two met in the hall outside, JJ’s eyes were filled with tears. “Em, what’s going on?” She asked softly.

“Michael’s sick,” Emily said, quickly reaching out and grabbing a hold of JJ’s arms as the latter started back towards the bedroom. “Before you freak out, it’s just a nasty cough. I called your pediatrician, Will, and Penelope. The doctor told me how to help him, what meds to give, all that. Will was ready to hop on a plane and get here as soon as he could, but I told him it was okay. He called every few hours to check in. And PG ordered us more takeout than Henry and I knew what to do with.”

“But why didn’t you call me?” JJ asked. _‘I’m a bad mom,’_ her brain kept shouting.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” Emily said, smiling softly.

“I’m his mom, you should have called,” the anger JJ had been feeling all night was back with a vengeance. She might have been a bad mom, but Emily wasn’t even a mom at all. Who was she to decide when JJ should worry about her kids? Before she knew what she was doing, JJ brought her hands up to Emily’s chest and shoved.

It wasn’t very hard, and Emily’s reflexes were too good– she only took half a step back for balance, but it was enough for Emily to catch on that something was wrong. “Jayje, why don’t we go downstairs and talk?”

“I want to go to bed,” JJ tried to push past Emily down the hallway to her own room, but the taller woman caught her by the waist and pulled her into a tight hug. “Emily,” she warned.

“No way. I know someone trying to throw up walls when I see it, and there’s no way I’m letting you,” Emily squeezed JJ tighter and started pushing her towards the stairs. “I’ll make some coffee, we’ll talk about whatever’s going on, and then you can sleep. Deal?”

“Fine,” JJ huffed, and followed Emily downstairs. She did not want to do this. Everything still felt so raw, so close. She was going to tell Emily everything and break down and she didn’t know if the pieces could ever be picked up again. But then Emily was placing a steaming cup of coffee in her hands, and gently pushing her to sit down on the couch, and JJ had no choice but to begin. She walked Emily through the entire case, starting from the jet and all the way through to when Francesca Morales had been abducted. JJ thought she had calmed down, but no one had noticed Francesca get taken, and telling Emily about it made JJ so incredibly angry again– Michael’s cry echoed through the baby monitor on the coffee table. JJ realized she might have been yelling, but she wasn’t sure.

“I’ll go get him,” Emily started, but JJ pushed her back down. She couldn’t explain why, but JJ needed this, needed to take care of her son. Needed to prove to herself that she was still JJ, still a half-decent mom.

Emily was cleaning the kitchen when JJ came back down twenty minutes later, and she fell into step with Emily, picking up the story as if nothing had happened. It was the part of the case where things pick up, and JJ felt like she was on a roll, felt like maybe telling Emily all this wouldn’t be so bad, when she gets to the part about Renee Morales. “She’s a working mom, trying to do her best,” JJ says, still trying to figure out why talking to Renee had been so particularly awful for her. “Just like anybody.”

“Just like anybody, or just like you?” Emily asks softly, her deep brown eyes meeting JJ’s with so much compassion. JJ is quiet for a long time, letting the truth of it sink in, all the way down to her bones. Emily seems to understand JJ’s need for a break, and points the younger agent to a barstool at the kitchen island before turning around to make a huge plate of scrambled eggs. It is the one thing she can think to do, and the one food item she trusts herself not to burn.

The eggs are almost gone before JJ picks up the story again. This is the part she has been dreading the most, the part where she has to finally admit exactly what happened. Emily isn’t as mad about her running into a burning building as JJ thought she would be, though she’s not exactly okay with it either. They both know that if the roles were reversed, Emily would have done the same. _‘Though Emily probably could have saved them all,’_ JJ thinks darkly. She makes it through it all, recounting the facts with more detachment than she has been able to muster for weeks. She goes through what they found inside, how she saved Roberto and the unsub’s sister, Francesca’s screams as Luke dragged JJ outside moments before the roof caved in. The horrible moment she had to tell Renee her baby was dead. When she finishes, Emily is looking at her like she hung the moon. And JJ has to break her heart. She tells her the absolute worst part of it all. JJ went to Roberto first, saved Roberto, because he reminded her of Henry. If JJ hadn’t been so selfish, had been an agent instead of a mom, then maybe she could have saved them all.

Emily doesn’t look heartbroken, though. Instead, she grabs JJ firmly by the jaw, holding her gaze to ensure the blonde hears what she has to say. “Two people are alive because of you,” she begins. “You are a hero, Jennifer Jareau. You’re your boys’ hero, and the team’s, and all those people that you’ve saved. You’re my hero,” Emily barely whispers the last part. And JJ, in what is probably the dumbest move of her life, surges forward and kisses her best friend.

It only lasts a second before JJ is pulling away, taking in Emily’s shocked expression. _‘Shit,’_ she begins to panic, bracing herself for the inevitable rejection. But Emily’s hand is still on her chin, and she’s looking at JJ with so much love, and she’s leaning in and JJ is thinking to herself, _‘finally’–_ and then Michael is crying. Emily breaks away first, dropping her hand and turning to look at the baby monitor, but it is JJ who goes to him.

He’s so much cooler than before, and JJ sighs in relief, knowing that his fever has broken. Henry comes in then, practically running across the room to wrap his arms around her middle. It’s fully morning now, the room filled with a spectacular sunlight that seems to wash away some of the last few days. And then there’s Emily, standing in the doorway, smiling at JJ over Henry’s head. There’s something in the way she’s looking at them, and the familiar weight of her sons against her, that makes JJ believe that she will be okay again. And right now, that’s enough.


	3. Taboo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starts the evening after 12x2 “Sick Day” and covers a time jump to the night before 12x3 “Taboo”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi hi! I’m so sorry it’s taken this long to get this chapter out! It was surprisingly difficult to write, and was going to be like twice as long as this but I ended up splitting it up. I’m not happy with the second half yet, but this should be sufficiently fluffy and happy to carry you through until then ;)

Emily waited until the credits were rolling before she carefully extracted herself from the tangle of limbs on the couch. It had been a lazy day– Michael was still feeling under the weather and Henry picked up on how tired his mom was. So, they spent it playing board games and reading, ending it all with JJ’s suggestion of pizza and a movie. Henry had picked _Cars,_ but only made it 45 minutes in before he was fast asleep, snuggled in close to Michael and JJ, who hadn’t even made it that far. Emily’s rational brain told her that she should have turned off the TV and sent them all to bed when Henry fell asleep, but the other part of her brain, the part that had been about to kiss JJ this morning, made her stay put. At least until the movie was over. Besides, Emily had never seen _Cars_ before. Emily still hadn’t really seen _Cars,_ having spent most of it watching the three sleeping blondes on the other end of the couch, but at least now she knew kind of what it sounded like. Switching off the TV woke JJ up, and Emily smiled at her before placing a finger over her lips to shush the blonde as she bent over to pick up Henry. Her back protested, but Emily carried the sleeping boy all the way upstairs and to his bed, tucking him in carefully.

JJ met her in the hallway outside Michael’s room and Emily couldn’t help but feeling like it was a mirror of last night. Hours after their first conference in this hall, JJ had kissed her. Emily found herself hoping that would happen again, too. They needed to talk first, though. JJ must have read her mind because as soon as her blue eyes met Emily’s, she was asking, “Can we talk?”

They ended up back on the couch. For a brief moment, Emily had thought about suggesting they go to the guest room, but something told her that might scare JJ off. As much as Emily might hope that the night would end with JJ in her bed, she had absolutely no idea how the younger woman was feeling. Sure, JJ had been the one to kiss Emily, but how much did that count for, really? Half an hour ago, her heart had been melting watching JJ and her boys sleep, but now Emily was preparing for it to be broken.

“Listen, Jayje,” Emily began once they were sitting. “Before we get too far, I–“

“I’m sorry I kissed you,” JJ interrupted, and Emily felt her already fragile heart begin to crack.

“I’m not,” she all but whispered in response.

“I– you’re not?” stunned as she was, JJ couldn’t stop the small smile taking shape on her lips.

“No, I’m not. Are you? Actually sorry, that is?”

“No,” JJ admitted.

“So can I finish what I was saying?” Emily asked, finally smiling back. JJ nodded. “Jennifer Jareau, I have loved you from the moment I met you. Not like that,” she added quickly, when the blonde’s face twisted into something between awe and fear. “You have always been, and always will be, my best friend. I–“

“Wait are you friend-zoning me?” JJ sat up straighter.

“What did I say about letting me finish?” Emily chuckled, only speaking again when JJ mimed zipping her lips shut. “I meant that I’ve always _known_ that I love you as a friend. It wasn’t until recently– after I told you about Louise, actually, that I realized I also love you as, uh, more than a friend.”

“I more than friend love you, too,” JJ said, face splitting into a grin.

“Really?” The crack Emily thought had been forming in her heart disappeared.

“Yes,” JJ said, scooting closer to Emily. “That doesn’t mean it’s not complicated– my divorce isn’t final, Henry and Michael… You have your whole life back in London… But if you’re willing, I’d like to try loving each other as more than friends.”

Everything JJ said was true. This _was_ complicated. And Emily was scared shitless. But somewhere along the line she had learned to stop running from happiness when it was literally staring her in the face, no matter how terrifying it might be. “I’d like that, too.” At that, JJ moved in like she was going to kiss Emily, but the brunette put a hand up to stop her. “I uh, have some questions first.”

“Sure, like what?” JJ asked, sitting back, and Emily melted at how easily the younger woman changed gears, putting aside her own desire to kiss Emily like it was nothing in favor of hearing the older woman out.

“Like, what are we? And have you ever been with a woman before, and–“

“Em, I’ve been with women before,” JJ interrupted with a wink.

“Okay, I’m definitely asking about that later, but we also need to talk about your boys, and what about our friends? I want to have a relationship with you Jay, and I want to do it _right_.”

“I forgot to tell you last night, or this morning or whatever, but Hotch ordered me to take the week off to recover from the case. Which I definitely am not done processing, by the way, but it means that we also have some time to figure out _this_ ,” JJ gestured to the space between them. “I don’t have answers to all your questions yet, but I think we can find them together.” She reached out and took Emily’s hand. “What if, this week when the boys are around we’re still Mom and Auntie Em?”

“And when they’re not?” Emily countered.

“We could try being… girlfriends?” JJ asked, suddenly shy.

“Girlfriends it is.” Finally, Emily leaned forward and met JJ’s lips with her own.

In the end, they didn’t sleep together. Well, they both slept in JJ’s bed, but after more talking, and quite a bit more kissing, sleep had won. JJ was fine with that. She knew slower was better. They had agreed on taking their time, so afraid to ruin things by rushing. So, in addition to keeping things a secret from Henry and Michael, they had decided to not tell the team or anyone else just yet. Well, anyone else besides Penelope. The technical analyst had called around 2am a little drunk and a little mad that Emily hadn’t told her about her presence in town until Michael had gotten sick. To placate her, JJ promised a Girl’s Night before Emily went home, but that hadn’t been enough. So Emily ‘let slip’ the events of the evening, but only after swearing Penelope to secrecy. There had been a lot of squealing and incoherent drunken babble, but for some reason, JJ felt like this was a secret Penelope would actually keep. What was there to spill anyway? She and Emily had kissed a few times and were in an ongoing discussion about how to start a relationship with one another? Oh, and they had already basically said ‘I love you,’ but Pen didn’t know that part. That part was too special for it to belong to anyone but them.

Emily’s breath warm against the back of her neck, deep and even with the sleep that was currently evading JJ’s grasp. Though, her sleeplessness was probably due to the fact that she couldn’t stop smiling into her pillow as she recalled the brunette’s earlier confession. _‘She’s always loved me,’_ her brain kept chanting, driving JJ almost giddy at the thought. She hadn’t thought about love until Emily brought it up, really. Obviously what Emily had said was true for JJ, too– she had loved Emily as a friend for as long as she’d known the woman, but JJ was having a hard time pinning down when the shift from platonic to romantic had happened in her brain. It didn’t matter right now. No, all that mattered right now was that she loved Emily. It was that thought that finally lulled JJ to sleep.

•—•• ——— •••— •

Emily Prentiss was magic. JJ had spent all week thinking about it, and that was the only explanation. Emily Prentiss was magic. How else could the woman have won her over so completely? In such a short amount of time? As far as weeks went, this one with Emily had been damn near perfect. Her boys had always loved their Auntie Em, but now they were like her little buddies, totally enamored with her. Michael was constantly running up to the brunette demanding to be tossed into the air, falling into uncontrollable fits of giggles each time she complied. So, every time. Henry tried to play it a little cooler, but JJ noticed his eyes light up every time Emily answered one of his questions, or offered to play soccer in the yard. JJ and Will had tried their best for the boys, they really had, but JJ couldn’t help feeling like this, with Emily, was what family was supposed to be. They had all laughed more in this one week than any of them could remember having laughed in years. JJ knew this should terrify her, knew that she should be scared that Emily had already wound her way into the fabric of her family, knew she shouldn’t be letting it happen, should be protecting herself and her boys from potential heartbreak. But Emily made them laugh. When they all laughed like that, it was hard to be scared.

And, though it made JJ blush to admit it, the other part of their ‘deal’ had been going well, too. More than well. JJ felt like a teenager again, all blushy and bubbly and giddy with new love. JJ had a _girlfriend_ , and it made her heart leap just to think about. They behaved like teenagers too, the second the boys were out of the room. Emily Prentiss was a good kisser. An amazing kisser. Emily’s kisses made JJ’s toes curl and cleared every thought from her head. If Emily was magic, then her lips were the source of all her power. Right now, those lips were locked onto JJ’s shoulder in a desperate attempt to muffle the moans the blonde’s fingers were manifesting. JJ knew she loved Emily, but she especially loved Emily like _this_ , all sweaty and blissed out, writhing underneath her. Watching Emily fall apart because of her actions made JJ feel drunk. Better than drunk. It was a drug, JJ was an addict, and she knew that she could never give Emily up.

When they had finished–JJ once and Emily twice–they lay tangled together in JJ’s bed. The sheets were a mess, JJ’s skin stuck to Emily’s, and she knew that her hair would be murder to brush in the morning, but JJ didn’t care. Or, she was choosing not to care. She was also trying to choose to not give in to the small aching ball of dread settled deep in her stomach, but she was quickly losing that battle. “I have to go back to work tomorrow,” she grumbled, burying her face in Emily’s neck.

“And I have to go back to London on Tuesday,” the brunette sighed.

“No. Stop.” JJ brought her finger up to Emily’s lips to shush her. She wasn’t ready to face _this_ ball of dread.

“JJ, we have to talk about it,” Emily’s hand wrapped around JJ’s and drew it to her chest. “This week has been… incredible. But we need to talk about what happens when I leave.”

“I’m laying here, all cozy in a post-sex bubble of love, and you are trying to pop it,” JJ protested. She had been about to pop the bubble herself, but now she wanted to stay in it. _Needed_ to stay in it. “Don’t pop my bubble, Emily.”

“Hey, you’re the one who brought up work,” Emily muttered against JJ’s lips, easily giving in. They had only been kissing for a few moments when the shrill sound of Emily’s ringtone cut through the air, effectively popping the bubble for them. The brunette huffed and rolled over to grab it, reading the caller ID with a puzzled expression. “It’s Hotch,” she said, and picked up. “Prentiss.”

 _“Emily, hi,”_ Hotch’s voice crackled through the other end of the line. He wasn’t on speaker, but JJ could hear him just fine. _“Are you alone right now?”_

“I, uh, no. Give me a second,” Emily responded, shooting JJ a worried look. She got up, grabbing JJ’s sweatshirt from their pile of clothes on the floor before crossing and shutting herself in the bathroom. A few seconds later, JJ heard the fan click on. No chance of hearing either side of the conversation now. She thought that maybe she should be worried, it was strange for Hotch to be calling Emily in the middle of the night, but the dread of Emily leaving DC was taking up too much space in her brain right now. So she pulled the blankets over her head, shut out the world, and dozed off to sleep. The next thing she knew, Emily was coming back out of the bathroom, her tone vastly different than when she had gone in. “Alright Joan, I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Joan? Who’s Joan?” JJ asked groggily, sitting up as Emily came back to bed.

“She’s, uh,” Emily was picking at her nails, “Louise’s mom.”

“Okay,” JJ said, grabbing Emily’s hands in her own, stilling them. “Em, when I fell asleep you were talking to Hotch, now you’re talking to…” she stumbled, unsure what Joan was to the other woman.

“My dead girlfriend’s mom,” Emily squeezed JJ’s hands. “It’s not all that dramatic, I’m just, I don’t know. It’s fine.”

“Okay. Wanna tell me about it?” It didn’t seem fine, but JJ knew she could only push so much.

“Yeah, Hotch was calling because he’s being sent on some temporary assignment and apparently he thinks that you guys will fall apart without an extra set of hands,” she looked at JJ and winked. “Hotch thinks that right now, I am running around my apartment in London packing a bag, and that I’ll be on the next flight to DC to spend a couple weeks hanging out with my old friends at the BAU.”

“So you didn’t tell him you were already here?” JJ couldn’t read the look in Emily’s eyes.

“If it’s alright with you, I’d like to keep um, us,” Emily gestured between them, “secret just a little while longer. There’s some people back in London that I need to talk to first,” she cleared her throat awkwardly, no longer able to meet JJ’s gaze.

“Who?” JJ asked, fighting the rising panic Emily’s statement had caused. There wasn’t a girlfriend in London that JJ didn’t know about, right? _Right?_

“Louise’s family. We’ve gotten kind of close because of well, everything and it just,” Emily paused, drawing a steadying breath. “I wouldn’t feel right telling everyone here before I talk to them. Let them know I’m not forgetting her, or anything like that.”

JJ let out a shaky laugh. “I thought you were going to tell me you had a secret girlfriend that you needed to break up with or something.”

“Jayje, I promise the only secret girlfriend I have is _you,_ ” Emily brought her hand up to JJ’s chin, drawing her in until their lips were almost touching. “And I’m not planning to break up with you anytime soon.” Emily kissed her deeply then, but JJ only let herself get lost in it for a moment before she placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder and pushed them apart.

“As much as I want to keep doing this,” she leaned in and pressed a quick peck to Emily’s lips to illustrate her point, “it’s late. And we _both_ have to be up early for work tomorrow.”

“It’s going to be so hard to go back to being your coworker after this,” Emily sighed, flopping back against the pillows.

“Near impossible,” JJ agreed, tucking herself into Emily’s arms. “We’ll just have to… compartmentalize. Coworkers by day, girlfriends by night.”

Emily laughed and pulled JJ closer, pressing her lips to blonde hair and whispering, “coworkers by day, girlfriends by night,” before the both of them drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, um, I’ve created a Criminal Minds tiktok that’s been super fun, so you can find me on there @/criminaldel
> 
> Peace & Love, cowboys!


End file.
